Wednesday, April 17th, 2013 09:09 am
motokomaharet: (Default)
Well, hello dreamwidth I just remembered all about you. I haven't been here in ages. I have had bad days and good days since I was here last. I'm not sure why I remembered now, but hey, who cares. It's my birthday tomorrow and I want to be made to feel special or at least something special done for me. I don't specialwhat or why, and that is the question that is plaguing my mind. Why. Why do I want to feel special or want something special done. I don't fully understand. And this bothers me.
I know I was strong, confident and positive once soon a time and I know I have depression now, but I want that person back.
I have been thinking about my future and what I want to do with it. Part of that has included reading up on auras and how to see them, which I can, heal them and help people through understanding them.

Should I do a PhD on the topic? Should I do a PhD? Should I do a PhD on something else that is more likely to get a scholarship?
Should I find a good stable job? Can I get a good stable job?

Today I don't really care. I have to get marking done and I don't want to do it, but I am going to uni to work. As that way there are less distractions than at home.


Thursday, October 13th, 2011 05:04 pm
motokomaharet: (Default)
I don't know whether my depression is getting better or worse.
I stayed home yesterday, all day.
Did my meditation.
I got 2 loads of washing down.
Did some sewing for my Tribal bra.
I think I did dishes.
Watched 'Watchmen'. Forgot it was a rather long movie.
Did reading for uni.
Got depressed and played Pirate Lego on the Wii.

Today I don't really want to go to uni. I want another week off.
We have 4 weeks of class left.

I thought and said last night, that if I didn't have uni tomoroow, being today, I wouldn't go. But they pay me, so I go.

I just want to curl up in a ball and hide.

April 2013

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